bleah.. been a long time since i added a new entry... haiz... juz din noe wad to write n din reali feel lik sayin anythg.. haha.. but nvm... today holiday... so juz pop one.. haha... cuz of all of our sch achievements, de principal decided to gv us holiday.. heez.. lter gonna go out with my dear dear.. yay... long time nv go out with her le... i've oways been playin pool n ignorin her... i reali wana make it up to her.. bleah.. sorry for oways playin pool dear.. hugz..

haiz.. newayz.. i thk my claz dat louis is a real chauvinist... he thk he very great... tel us he go fortune teller den gonna die on 4/8 den in de end oso nv die.. i thk he crappin lorz.. cuz its lik he say we cannot call or recieve his calls... den we told ya ting dun call him... n told her abt de story.. den on tue he come kao pei us...(he sti hvnt go sch on dat day)... he say wad we betray him.. tel everyone abt his story.. but its lik we told him we helpin him so ya ting wun cal n break his "spell" n u noe wad he say????... he say let her call.. so means wad?... we cant call or recieve his calls but ya ting can?.. obviously is crap lorz.. den now we all gonna condem him.. we gonna ignore him lik he isnt der... he stil say wad his reputation gonna b ruined... most of our claz gals dun even thk he has a rep to b ruined.. he so egotistic... very big headed.. cant stand him....

haha... ok enuff abt louis..lol... heez.. mi try to come here more often.. if not u all come here oways nothg to c one.. hehez... we'll... cya all... cya later my dear.. *mUaCkZ*.. love u lotz...

oh.. n sorry to all my frens who ask mi out n i can make it (dun wana say names.. heez..).. bleah... real sorry to pang seh u all.. but i reali wana go out with v0n v0n... heez.. she more important anyway... haha...

muackz everyone.. n happy national day!.....

hehez.. hihi.. im back again.. heez.. im back to my oldself again.. well more or less.. haha..nothg to do change my blog again lol.. hope not too eerie.. lol.. though i noe it is.. haha... i feel so much beta le.. thx sharon.. actuali i kinda dun hate anqi dat much le.. though stil not on good terms wif her.. mmm....mmm... newayz.. today after sch played bball.. haha... sianz nothg to do so play lorz.. dun reali lik de game.. im not good at it.. bleah.. den later had PA meeting... president n vice president step down le... sad.. den sec 3 tk over.. next yr our turn.. haha.. nothg much reali happened today... juz got PA meeting after sch only lorz..

newayz..ytd had a spilttin headache man.. haiz came back again.. after so long.. its de same kind dat fabian sometimes feels.. ithk... but i thk mine is worse... haiz.. den during lesson time went to sick bay to slp for n hr or so.. haha.. den felt much beta... wah... hate it when i hv headache.. heez.. well dats all.. nothg much to say oso.. depression more or less over liaoz... haha..time to b cheery again... bleah... cya al... tk care.....

haiz haiz haiz.. sharon.. today juz  read ur comments. ya well.. urs is de only one i felt lik listenin to... ur advices n comments on my behiaviour r soothing... yet it points out its meaning... mm... ya true... de only part which reali motivated mi is de one abt v0n fell 4 de old hansel not de guy i m now... u r rite... i noe how v0n is feelin cuz i've felt dat way b4.. im sorry dear for causing u so much trouble.. kkz... i b back to my old self again..lol... dat means not dat easy to undst me anymore.. haha..told u u wudnt lik it if i shown u how i feel. haha.. kkz... back to my old self... lol.... worry free again.... haha.. anyway i found a source for mi to speak all my mind n pour all my problems into.. haha.. no comments needed.. juz a listenin ear.. i've found wad i've been lookin for... n i'd thk him/her alot.... lol.. though he/she wun b seein dis blog.. lol... wel.. thx again sharon.. guessed ur comments worked best... no matter how mature u say i m.. i dun care.. sometimes i juz wana b a kid... cuz dats wad i stil m... i simple kid.. n if i were any more mature... i'd b dull again.. lol.. dun c mi as n 18yr old.. im 14.. k?.. lol.. anyway.. sharon.. u r much more mature den i m.. u r de first person to gimme advices dat make mi wana listen to n wake up.. haha... dear... thx for tryin anyway... i love u... n my regards to all whu tried.. haha.. sound kinda crappy.. how can i change in one nite?... well... it cud happen.. anyway.. im trying my best to smile again... so... dun push it ya?.... haha.. ....

well... nothg much happened today.. lost de match to yishun town.. thk we did our best though if we had shaun.. we might hv won.. oh well.. its over.. lol.. dats stil de under 18 youth cup at de end of de yr.. can oways try harder again... haha...
(back to my oldself again? lol...i'l try to thk positive.. though it might sound lame.. gotta get use to it again.. haha.... IM BACK....) bleah..... well cya all.. n tk care ya?.. wun b botherin to change de theme of my blog.. dis ones stil ok.. haha... juz read my entries to noe how im feelin... lol....

cya all... n sorry dear for causin u so much hurt.. it muz hv been difficult for u to try to persuade mi.. i noe how u feel.. n i turned into de kinda person i hated.. sigh.. sorry dear.. promise u.. i'l try not to hv dis kinda servere mood swings again.... n i'l try to trust u more again... dun wana doubt u.... does no good for de r/s...lol... i belive u love mi n dats enuff.... .. cya all den... bye.....

lalalala.. haha.. .n thx again my anonymous listening ear... hahaha...

.. haiz.. feeling sad sad sad n down again bleah.. i reali dunno y i keep feelin dis way for de past few days.. severe de pression nni reali dunno y.. haiz.. n i juz feel so bored every single day... waking up each morning hoping der'd b something to look foward to, b4 reality strikes mi n make mi realise dat it'd b another meaningless day.. *SiGh*.. i thk all dat im feelin is caused by everything dats happenin n has happened.. haiz..  idun blame anyone for how im feelin n dun wish to cuz i dun even noe y im feelin so sad n down..

life is reali of no meaning to mi.. someone plz tell mi y im here?.. im living each day dreading every tomorrow. dat reali discourages u frm living anymore.. n dats how i've been feelin.. if der reali is anyone else besides v0n whu cares for mi,im sorry for how im behavin.. but reali all it tks is juz one major upset in life b4 i end my own.. i reali dun thk im essential in dis world anyway... y does god create so many ppl?.. juz so dat a handful of extras can dread seeing tomorrow? y izit so many ppl die n not one of dem b mi?... but reali if i die... i wana die a as peaceful death as possible.. no worries,no troubles... juz n empty mind with no desires whatsoever. dat b nice... n i'd hope no one reali notices my death.. haha... such a nice funeral i'd hv...

lol..v0n..i noe all dis saddens u.. but... i juz cant seem to cheer up... haiz... mayb i'd juz put dis as private...but wads de point of a blog den?.. haiz...

dear,u noe y i kept apologising de other day?.. de real reason is cuz i feel real bad.. i feel real bad cuz i feel i've lost alot of trust for u.. i juz get so upset,suspicious n jealous so easily over thgs which i wud've seen as nothg when i was a much happier mi... haiz... juz wish i wudnt feel dis way... bleah.. i wana smlie n laugh n b my old-self again.. but i guess dat wud only b possible when i find de meanin of life..

mm... 'c' boys r outta nationals. ha... expected it... but i guess i juz dun care.. seriously i wasnt even de least bit sad or upset dat we lost... lol... im juz so sick of dis team.. wish i can juz quit vbal.. but den i'd get to c v0n less...

u c... de only reason im stil here is cuz of v0n.. my love for her is de only thg dats keepin mi alive... bleah... thx for de cross'+' dear... i noe u r hopin dat it'd bring about miracles... but i stil dun belive in dem... to mi,miracles r juz a coincedences. doesnt dat explain y miracles dun happen frequently?... haiz..

but nevertheless,i'd treasure de cross'+' u gave mi dear... muackz i love u lotz n lotz... bleah...

*sIgH*